Polarity and why you need to transcend it

So what is polarity anyway?

Consensus maintains that this world is made of pairs of polar opposites, ie a world of duality. Black and White, Hot and cold, yada yada... and the BIG one - good and evil. If you start to look carefully at that whole world of dualities, you'll discover that there are an unlimited number of them that we operate through, without any kind of discriminating wisdom. The one that strikes me as one of the funniest is Ford versus General Motors. People will actually violently defend their perceived "rightness" about what is "better".

Wisdom would simply observe that they are both vehicles. Wisdom does not waste energy defending an illusion like "being right".

There are some very un-funny examples on this planet too. Protestant and Catholic; Christian and Muslim; National enmity; opposition between ethnic groups, to name just a few.

This phenomenon, polarisation, is so widely in evidence, that one may be forgiven for believing it to be something real. That there is some kind of impermeable barrier between one side and the other. Certainly, some people seem to delight in making sharper and sharper distinction between the apparent sides, yet often, if you know someone from the "opposite" side, the distinctions are not as sharp as some would have you believe.

Take a step back and consider what the argument about brands of automobile look like to a person living in some remote primitive area. It would be farcical.
Take a step back and consider what world conflict looks like to some alien species observing the planet.

Polarity is not real

If you consider what happens when you create a polarity, you are actually trying to split the universe in two. The part I want to own and the part I disown. I think that's kind of arrogant, personally.
But clearly the universe is not split in two. It is a unified whole. What we pretend to do, clearly does not work.

Intra-psychic polarity

The same kinds of mechanism are employed in the intrapsychic realm. What goes on in your head. Here we are speaking about a split between persona and shadow; between body and mind; between self and the universe. Ken Wilber has written books on the subject of integrating these apparent splits. The aim of course is to become whole. Holy whole. Persona is a Freudian term that means the parts of our personality that we wish the world to see; Our attributes that we think are desirable, acceptable and will win the approval of others. Shadow is another Freudian term that means those parts of ourselves that we seek to hide from the world because we believe them to be unacceptable and about which, we are ashamed. A variety of neuroses spring from that fundamental split. Somehow, the shadow will be revealed, the fundamental unity of persona and shadow will assert itself.
We have seen for example, religious leaders who publicly denounce homosexuality, being seen to have been privately involved in what they publicly denounce. That's the kind of trap that polarities can get you into.

It seems that the more energy you put into holding up one side of the polarity, the more the other side gets too. It's better, of course, to love your enemies, as Jesus said.
This little gem from Joni Mitchell says it so poetically :

Behind my bolt locked door
The eagle and the serpent are at war in me
The serpent fighting for blind desire
The eagle for clarity


I just love the way a poet can say in four lines what an academic takes a whole book to say.

So what can we do about it?

Awareness is always a good first step. Recognise that every time you cling to, and defend, some point of view, it is a sure thing that it's opposing viewpoint is equally strong. The more vigourously you defend your position, the more energy you are feeding to the apparent other side.
So, embrace the things you now condemn. If you can't embrace them, at least open up dialogue with them. Let them have a voice and listen to yourself.
I am not suggesting you go over and start living in the other sides of your polarities, abandoning your values and societal mores; just that you listen the the messages they give you with an open mind.
You may discover that the eagle and the serpent both have their place

Reading some rational philosophy (e.g. Ken Wilber) helps.

Do a course like Avatar or Landmark Forum. These courses let you explore your reality constructs and give you first-hand knowledge of what's going on in your head. Then they give you tools to handle it all.

Get some therapy, Cognitive Behavioural (CBT), Gestalt. I used to think therapy was only for crazy people and Californians but after doing quite a bit of therapy in my own studies, I have changed my views (except about Californians hah ). Therapy is a way of getting a better set of tools to deal with life. CBT will give you a great set of tools to deal with the thought/action/feeling cycles that can trap us all.

Gestalt is all that and more.

Any good therapist or psychologist will have a set of techniques that they will use to show the way. Then it's up to you to use the techniques.

Personally I'm far too impatient to go down the Freudian or even the Jungian road, I'm sure it's great if you have the time.